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Nine Days With an Absurd $9,0. Gaming Laptop. There may exist inside of you a desire that burns white hot for the Acer Predator 2. X, but you will never buy this laptop. It is not for you, because if you want this laptop, you probably can’t afford it, and if you can afford it, you are probably old enough to not want to spend $9,0. But if you’re reading Gizmodo you’re still enough of a gadget fan to want to at least understand the $9,0. To that end, I spent nine days working almost exclusively with Acer’s ode to excess.

A goat that was extremely bored, ornery, or both decided to smash in the front door of polyurethane manufacturer Argonics Inc.’s Colorado office this weekend, and.

Here is its story. Day 1: The arrival. Our office manager looked suspiciously from me to the box, which is the size of three ten- year- olds squeezed together.“It’s a laptop,” I explained. While the office manager was incredulous, others were delighted.

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I want to sit in the box,” a colleague shouted while snapping photos. Following the included instructions, I managed to open the gigantic cardboard box—as well as the nearly indestructible Pelican case contained within. Desiring nothing more than to game, I plopped the Predator 2.

X on my knees as I would a Mac. Book. Fortunately, I used to bicycle a lot, so I’ve got strong thighs that don’t weep under the weight of 1.

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When I told inquisitive on- lookers the price, they looked at me aghast. Why does a $9,0. 00 machine exist? I didn’t have a good answer. So I pulled the trackpad out of its slot and showed people that it can be flipped over and used as a number pad.

Everyone agreed that was very neat. The trick earned the computer its first “wow” unrelated to size or price. After an hour and ten minutes of use, the computer died. It was after 5pm, and I did not want to find outlets for the computer’s two (two!) necessary power supplies, so I left it on a coworker’s desk and went home. Day 2: Set up. When I got to the office, I finally found outlets for the the 2. X’s two 3. 30 watt power supplies and began to use the laptop in earnest. It comes with Tobii Eyetracking, but it didn’t appear to be working.

The Nvidia graphics drivers were out of date too. Nvidia Ge. Force unhelpfully uninstalled its drivers, and the computer broke for twenty minutes. I uninstalled everything with the Nvidia name. Reinstalled. Inexplicably, the eye tracking started working on the third restart. After three hours of futzing with drivers and settings, I got Rise of the Tomb Raider running. My coworkers crowded around the computer shouting their advice on how to walk in a straight line.

Take a moment, remember when there was only one controller for the SNES at a slumber party. This moment was like that, but burlier. Yet there was exactly one coworker who did not care. She was the one who told me to mute the computer earlier when she’d had enough of Windows notifications exploding from the computer’s four speakers and two subwoofers.

Now she was irritated because the work day was over and people were peering at a laptop. Let’s go get beer” she bellowed.

The horde agreed. I saved my game and closed the laptop. The battery was still not fully charged. Day 3: Making my way downtown, part 1“You are taking this on the train.” It was not a suggestion. My boss and I agreed that you couldn’t review a laptop without testing its mobility—how easy it was to pack up and move around.

In the case of the Acer 2. X, it is a chore.

Thanks to the gentle curve of the display, the lid does not sit flush, so the 1. The 2. 1- inch display might crack. So I packed it back up into the Pelican case and headed home an hour and a half early. No one questioned this. A woman offered to help me carry it down the second flight of stairs to the train, but I declined. I need to do this for myself,” I said. On the train, everyone eyed me like you always eye the asshole with huge luggage on a rush hour train.

It was only 4: 4. Thursday, but the train filled up the closer to Brooklyn we got.

When I arrived at my stop, I had to muscle my way to the door and pray the wheels on the case didn’t roll over a foot. I am too delicate to be shouted at by cranky commuters. Off the train, I made it up one flight of stairs, a line of annoyed passengers forming behind me. A man wordlessly held out a hand and helped me up the second flight of stairs. New York is nicer than you’d expect it to be. It is . 4 miles from the train station to my home.

The sidewalks aren’t the smooth and clean ones of the Flatiron District. They’re broken with concrete jutting up out of the ground.

On the day I brought the Predator home, it had just rained, and while the streets were dry, puddles of brown, stagnant awful lay in a pedestrian’s path at every intersection. I lifted and dodged and hurried home. The shipping weight of the box is 7. Pelican case, power supplies, and 1. I was sure I was dragging all 7. The dog and cat were both alarmed by the monstrosity that took up residence in our living room.

That night my roommate arrived home. She saw the computer on my lap and could not take her eyes off of it. Is it like.. for army?” she asked. Her voice was a whisper, barely heard over the hum of the machine. No. It was not for army. Day 4: I cannot feel my toes.

The journey home had clearly affected me. Like the best friend in an 1. I was plagued by a cough and a sniffle and a weakness of indeterminate origin. My only salve was the laptop. I found a place for its two plugs, settled it on my lap, and downloaded Mass Effect: Andromeda. The machine did not like the internet in my home and it took an hour, three attempts to fix the internet, and one restart to download the game. The laptop rested on my thighs and destroyed all sensation below my knees.“I cannot feel my toes,” I texted a friend at 3: 3.

Playing the game on the 2. X’s keyboard and using its trackpad was a study in painful frustration. I couldn’t get comfortable.

The Cherry Brown mechanical key switches were nice, and the trackpad gave me zero issues, but the spacing between the keyboard and trackpad felt all wrong, especially when the computer was sitting in my lap. I finally gave up and found my Xbox One controller.

Gaming was instantly more pleasant. Day 5: Never mind, everything hurts. I played Mass Effect for longer than I should admit in polite company, and at the very least the gaming performance is incredible. The dual Nvidia GTX 1. GB SSDs in a speedy RAID 0 configuration, plus the 6. GB of RAM and the Kaby Lake i.

It had zero issues giving me 1. And with two Nvidia GTX 1. As long as the laptop was plugged in. After a very rare bathroom break I sat back down, balanced the computer across my lap and was startled to see the game had slowed to a crawl. I quit. Restarted. Played again. It was still slow. Then I realized the plugs had disconnected, and I was running on battery power.

I plugged back in and balance was restored Until my controller started to randomly disconnect every few minutes. As if the computer knew I’d been playing Mass Effect for 1. I got annoyed and powered off for the night. Day 6: It’s hot in here. It was over 8. 0 degrees outside. The heat didn’t bother me, until I balanced the computer on my knee.

Then I was reminded of summers in Texas, my god daughter sitting in my lap, all sharp bones and sweat and a furnace that would rival whatever burns in your basement. The laptop is like a toddler I can put in a box at the end of the day. The discomfort grew too bothersome for me to ignore. I tried placing it on my secretary desk, but it was too big—too heavy—to be supported. I eventually gave up and went and played Mass Effect on my regular PC. I immediately missed the expanded field of vision the 2. X afforded me. The 2.

X. Moving to my 5. K TV should have meant everything would feel bigger, but while the assets rendered by the game were larger, the 1. Yet I continued to play, because I did not miss the heat, or the disconnects, or the crushing weight of capitalism on my thighs. Day 7: A day of rest.

I sat on the couch, and worked hard at my job, and I used the 2. X as a stand to hold my phone. It was better this way. Day 8: Making my way downtown, part 2.

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